Our Last Vacation...

For some, the obstacles are few and far between...
For others, obstacles can lurk at every turn...
It's up to us as individuals how we deal with each situation...
We can fret and worry...
We can repeat the "Why me?" mantra until we turn blue...
But it doesn't help... been there... done that...

If you seek the positive, even in a tragic event...
you will be able to walk away with new insight or joy in the fact that...
you knew the person or had memories from happier times...

I'm just glad, we have memories and pictures...
of our last vacation with my mom... to live by...

I love you, Ma...
I miss you so much...

Mama Marisa

Marisa Estoesta
February 27, 1958 - April 18, 2009

Dearest Mama,

Happy Birthday, Mama...

We are celebrating your first birthday there in heaven...

It's been nearly a year since you left suddenly...

It would have been nice to have a final chat with you...

but time did not allow us the privilege...

Massive stroke ripped you away too fast...

stealing your life and robbing me of life with you...

Had there been warning, I would have come home more often, and stayed longer...

Had I known, I might not have moved so far away...

But if you knew the warning signs, you kept them to yourself...

You would not have wanted to alter life for any of your children...

But Ma, your passing altered our lives, plenty...

You left daughters and son without a mother to direct us into our senior years...

You left grandchildren who depended upon your thoughtful eye...

And when you left Ma, you took my friend, my counselor...

and my only remaining parent...

It changed me. I had to grow up...

No mother would be there to catch me or fund my mistakes...

No mother would love me despite my faults...

No mother would answer the phone and listen to my news...

I tear-up when I realize...

I will never see my little old mother walk hand-in-hand with my old step-father...

I will never need to push you in a wheelchair - for you are not growing older - like I am...

One day Ma, we shall embrace again - one day on the other side...

Until then, I think of you often and send my love as I visit you...

My thoughts of you are many and my love for you is deep...

Happy 1st Birthday (in heaven), Ma!

Loving you always,

Michelle
Your Eldest Daughter

Open Letter To My Mama...

Dear Ma,

how much you meant to us cannot be put to words...
thank you for the way you brightened our lives…
even though God granted you but half a life…
and we all feel cheated that you were taken from us so young…
i am confused and depressed why you are taken away from us...
but we must learn to be grateful for the time you have spend with us…
and healing from loosing your physical presence will take time...

Ma, we will miss your presence…
we will miss your voice and your smile…
We, love you so much, Ma...

'til we meet again,
Ate Che

We love you, Ma

My mother died suddenly and unexpectedly...
of massive stroke a little over a week ago...
Her death was so unexpected…
She wasn't ill--at least that we knew of…
I know and understand all the reasons…
Why this is happening…
And that there is no specific timeline…
I have barely had time to process it…
It's barely real to me yet…

When my mother died, I feel like my world is shattered...
Broken into so many tiny pieces that my life can never be put together...
I even find it very difficult or impossible to believe that she has died...
I feel scared and alone...
Ironically, there are a lot of people around...
But she’s not here and her body will never be alive again...
And it’s so sad that it makes my body hurt...

People whom I don't know come to our house, even people whom I don’t like...
People tell me how I should feel, what I should wear, and how I should act...
People tell me they know how I feel, and I want to shout...
“You have no idea how I feel!”...
In the midst of all of this, I am trying to understand the death of my mother...

The death of a mother is like no other loss in one’s life…

When my mother died, I become more aware of how much I loved her...
Sometimes it’s easier to recognize love after someone has died...
I regret that I didn’t say “I love you.” ...
After my mother has died, I can’t say it in the same way...
I can say the words, but my mother isn’t physically present to hear it...
As I think about the love I feel for her...
I recognize that she most probably loved me, too...

She knew that we loved her…
Of that I have no doubt…
I know, in my own personal faith…
She is still with us…We love you, Ma…

Feb. 27, 1958 - April 18, 2009
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Love isn’t just about the words...
It’s about sharing a special bond...
Love does not go away just because someone died…

Corrinne May - Fly...